Competition for completion
2013 - it was the year when I turned 18 I decided that I would let go of my gaming habit and replace it with something else, supposedly to make “good/productive” use of my time, in line with the popular narrative of this productivity-crazy world. Hours and hours of gaming needed to be replaced with hours and hours of something else, something “productive”, ideally (but I didn’t care so much about these labels). But what? I was playing tennis regularly, studying occasionally, and was also spending a good amount of time on “undergraduate activities” as is typical for any college freshman/sophomore. I had to find something!
That was the time when I’d read only maybe a couple books at best; by books I mean novels or any kind of long-form reading. I was never one for half-heartedness, and thought I should do something about this reading “attempt”. That’s when I decided that I had to dive - and dive deep - into reading and consuming pages and pages of literature, no matter what. That was seven years ago…
…and I’m still pushing at it. My book count has probably breached the 150 mark (Goodreads has been really useful to keep track!) and I don’t think I’ll ever stop. Unfortunately though, not a single year has gone by in which I have managed to hit my annual reading challenge target - starting with an ambitious 60-book one back in 2014 to a modest 20 books in 2019 - and that annoys me quite a lot.
Just 8 books in 2019! That’s not even a book a month! I was really going wrong somewhere with my targets…or my habits. My doing a Master’s programme notwithstanding, “not finding time for it” amidst my intense courses was just a lame excuse, I think. I had to do something about it!
2020 was going to be different in this regard, I decided. I have set a target of 25 books to read this year, and I think I am on a good path at the moment. Perhaps the fact that I am working on my Master’s thesis has something to do with it - there are no strict deadlines, and I find a lot more time to read without stressing out about meeting assignment and project deadlines, as was the case in the first year. Of course, that may change based on the hiccups I encounter as I progress in my thesis, but fingers crossed for that.
But there’s one more thing here. A big thing. Based on some preliminary reports from China in late 2019, the world woke up to fears of a pandemic bringing it to a standstill, and consequently a massive dent in the global economy in 2020 - and sadly these fears were not unfounded. At the time of writing this post, COVID-19 is a term at least 90% of the world’s population would have come across. You’d have to be living under a rock to not have heard of it.
The outbreak has led to many countries imposing lockdowns to reduce the virus’s spread, and as a result many people are holed up at home in varying degrees - some countries having imposed a complete curfew, and some a soft lockdown. Being in the Netherlands, and witnessing the latter, I am still allowed to go out for (hopefully) fresh air.
That aside, my thesis progress has been hampered significantly. There’s a great deviation from a sense of normalcy in daily life and it indeed feels weird to stay at home for most of the day. A loss of motivation brought about by this virus-induced disruption notwithstanding, my thesis needs completion - and I have decided to go in for a special strategy to ensure that it progresses somehow - using a “book” approach.
I had wanted to read Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace for quite a while, but I’d always put it off for later by opting for a shorter read instead. But with my 2020 reading goal of 25 books, and my thesis needing completion, I thought it’d be the perfect time to be reading a 1000-page mammoth! By competing with myself to finish either of the two things first, I thought it’d be really interesting to have both coincide! So now I’ve set myself up for doing the two simultaneously, and I feel bad if I lag in either respect on any day. It is an awkward approach indeed, but somehow seems effective.
I really don’t know what will finish first.
This post has taken enough twists and turns and I think it is a good time to end it.
But seriously, will Infinite Jest beat my Finite Thesis? Who knows!